Let me think of something philosophical to talk about. Self esteem. A good topic right?
Well, if you go to the library or any bookstore, there are always a section of self-help books. Among those are books about self-esteen, how to better manage your time, how to increase your brain power. There are even books that teach us how to hook a guy and do it in bed, better still, how to do it in bed fabulously. Sad isn’t it? We need to be helped on so many things, even things that are so personal or sexual. There is one thing about humans that I need to reemphasis. Sometimes we get caught up so much in sometime that we don’t see the many other possibly better alternatives.
What is self-esteem? Well, the most direct way to define it is the way one see himself. This is self-esteem, not the way others see you or the way you see yourself as compared to others but the way you see yourself. I think a lot of people get caught in this what would other people think or say of my this and that. I think any idiot who understands English should honour the word self that comes together with esteem.
I have seen many people and am still seeing many people that are so unhappy with themselves. Don’t ask me why exactly for I find these people kind of bewildering at times. These people seem to be the exact people that the media is trying to target at or has successfully convinced that there can be a better you in there.
Well, the main problem that people are not happy with themselves is very much the way they look. Sad to say that the human race is indeed superficial, it is in us to be superficial. A baby will respond better to a pretty face and the society then to look down on those who are nearing the fat or are already very fat. Search your heart and don’t lie to yourself, when you see a very fat person taking up 2 seats in a crowded mrt train, unkind thoughts about the person’s size is definitely running through your head. Then the fat person will definitely know how others are looking at him and thus feel bad and thus the self-esteem of the person will drop. You see how vulnerable people are? They care so much about how others look on them that they will feel upset about themselves and most of the time there isn’t very much that they can do to change the situation in the near future.
Then there is another category of people that may feel bad about themselves and none the less it is about beauty this time. Don’t you hear yourself saying in your head that man, that guy/girl there is so cute, see the face is problem free, tanned till the healthy tone, so perfect looking. It is perfectly normal that everyone likes something that is what is known as beauty, something pleasing to one’s eye but it becomes a problem when you compare and start dwelling on how much or how far u are away from perfection. Well, if that happens to you always, you just got to trust the fact that no one has it all and that there must be something that your are better than him/her.
I got a few friends with such problems. One of which is getting better and I truly believe it’s because of a boy. Then there is another friend of mine that is nice yet insanely nice at times, I really don’t know which. Well, she has a habit of talking herself down and talking others up. Well, I think it is nice sometimes as that can make another person happy or cheer another person up but it really is a problem when she does that kind of very often. I don’t know why but I think she lacks a self esteem.
Let’s try a few things that can generally help anyone when anyone is done okay? Thinking about a sure work method if you practise it, is a method that I learnt in civics and moral education in sec school I think. Well, it’s the traffic light method. Catch yourself whenever you are saying things that are discouraging or negative and stop it(red light). then think about some of the things that you are proud of, be it a certain skill or something(the yellow light). then resume your day and feel good about yourself with onlt positive thoughts(green light).
The other thing is what I heard from my teacher. Above all, love yourself the most as only after self-love will u make yourself pleasant enough for others to love you. Because you love yourself, others need not worry unnecessarily for you. Only after you love yourself will you have the capacity to love others. As all those who knows me know that I am not a person who read but I am very enchanted by man are from wars and women are from venus book. I didn’t read it thou, I merely flip through the pages here and there. There was this thing about women. The capacity of a women’s love is affected by the way she feels about herself. Very true isn’t it? one moment she can be the most loving mother, wife, girlfriend and the other moment she can be complaining about it all. So you see, self love is so important and plays an important part in self-esteem. If you don’t love yourself, how can you take pride in yourself?
Think about it.
Go on. Take a fresh start to life. Refresh yourself with a new energy.
